7 Tactical Fixes for Syntactical Impact

7 Tactical Fixes for Syntactical Impact 7 Tactical Fixes for Syntactical Impact 7 Tactical Fixes for Syntactical Impact By Mark Nichol Writers often miss opportunities to push home a point or spotlight an interesting observation by ignoring or not attending to the effect of cadence and syntax on written communication. Such incidents are like a standup comedian placing a punch line in the middle of a joke. Here are some examples of slight adjustments of sentence construction for maximum impact: 1. â€Å"He argued that the court is hardly a legal entity, for a variety of reasons.† The point of the sentence is buried in its midsection, after which a modifier is tacked on, causing the sentence to stagger to a weak ending. Revise as follows: â€Å"He argued that the court, for a variety of reasons, is hardly a legal entity.† 2. â€Å"The Chinese were growing lettuce by the fifth century BC, where it represented good luck.† Because â€Å"the fifth century BC† could be treated grammatically as a location, the second clause could be misunderstood to refer to the time, not the place, which is furthermore only weakly implied by â€Å"the Chinese.† Strongly link the superstition to the people, rather than the country: â€Å"The Chinese, who considered lettuce a symbol of good luck, were growing it by the fifth century BC.† 3. â€Å"More than 600 schools or school districts nationwide have blocked the Web site, according to cofounder John Doe. Doe, who started the site . . .† â€Å"According to† attributions are often stronger at the head of a sentence. This revision also avoids the clumsy repetition of Doe’s name at the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next: â€Å"According to cofounder John Doe, more than 600 schools or school districts nationwide have blocked the Web site. Doe, who started the site . . .† 4. â€Å"Asquith recognized that the majority of his party wanted to steer clear of the approaching conflict- and, more to the point, a majority of his Cabinet.† Wait the majority of his party wanted to steer clear of a majority of his Cabinet? Huh? Well, that’s what it says. But that’s not what it means. Here’s what it means: â€Å"Asquith recognized that the majority of his party- and, more to the point, a majority of his Cabinet- wanted to steer clear of the approaching conflict.† So write it that way. 5. â€Å"Yo-yos were first used as deadly weapons, not as toys.† The mildly startling fact about the toy’s origins is best held back until the end of the sentence: â€Å"Yo-yos were first used not as toys, but as deadly weapons.† 6. â€Å"The model takes the social systems surrounding the alcoholic as crucial, most often the family.† The specification of the primary social system should immediately follow â€Å"the alcoholic,† the focus of the sentence, rather than being buffered and weakened by the additional phrase â€Å"as crucial†: â€Å"The model takes the social systems surrounding the alcoholic, most often the family, as crucial.† 7. â€Å"There, it’s become fashionable to hate Jews, as they are the proxies for Americans in the Middle East, some say puppets.† As the sentence is written, the last phrase seems a muttered aside, rather than a key component of the statement. Inserting it, enclosed in em dashes, in the middle of the sentence gives it the prominence it needs: â€Å"There, it’s become fashionable to hate Jews, as they are the proxies some say puppets for Americans in the Middle East.† Want to improve your English in five minutes a day? Get a subscription and start receiving our writing tips and exercises daily! Keep learning! Browse the Grammar category, check our popular posts, or choose a related post below:English Grammar 101: All You Need to KnowComma Before ButForming the Comparative of One-syllable Adjectives